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Starting over, over?

by Ron P on Nov.03, 2009, under Uncategorized

I’m often amazed at how much of a work in progress I feel I am, even at 40 years old.  I’ve struggled with food and my weight for 30 years now.  Somehow I still continue to struggle with it today.  We went out trick or treating with the kids the other night, had a good time, wound up going with some other families so we had a giant horde of kids with us.  Lisa and I decided to just let Orion have his entire stash of candy.  No limits or controls on it.  He still has candy left 2 days later, and it just seems so alien to me, and after a couple of days I realized why.  If it was me, I’d have eaten the entire bag as soon as I got home.  I’ve almost always been like this with food and sweets and I still really don’t understand why.

I guess it’s ok to still be a work in progress as long as there’s at least some progress going on!

Gym time yesterday:

10 minutes elliptical bike

flat bench: 10×135, 8×185, 6×205, 4,225

incline bench: 8×115, 7×115, 7×115

decline bench: 8×135

Ended the workout there, right shoulder and forearm pain and weakness.  Moderate pain for about an hour after the workout.

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Father Musings… changing who I am.

by Ron P on Jun.01, 2009, under Uncategorized

How often do people actually change?

For me, I know I’ve changed a lot over the last decade or so, yet somehow I deal with the same issues I’ve dealt with since I was a kid.  Lack of patience, I’m quick to anger, in general I prefer solitude to the company of others.  When do these things change?  Will they ever?

Those questions bother me a lot, because I don’t want to be angry.  I don’t want to yell at my son who is just being an energetic 4 year old.  Sometimes I’m great at the path Lisa and I have chosen.  I communicate, I educate, I bend my will and replace old programming.  Other days are more like last night where I’m yelling at him because he’s kicking a ball in the kitchen or getting into his late night manic phase and I’m just tired of it.

I strive for change.  I fail constantly, but I’m still striving.  Maybe who I am will never really change this late in my life, but hopefully I can just smooth the edges out a little bit.  Live with a little more harmony and a little less anger.

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