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Father Musings… changing who I am.

by Ron P on Jun.01, 2009, under Uncategorized

How often do people actually change?

For me, I know I’ve changed a lot over the last decade or so, yet somehow I deal with the same issues I’ve dealt with since I was a kid.  Lack of patience, I’m quick to anger, in general I prefer solitude to the company of others.  When do these things change?  Will they ever?

Those questions bother me a lot, because I don’t want to be angry.  I don’t want to yell at my son who is just being an energetic 4 year old.  Sometimes I’m great at the path Lisa and I have chosen.  I communicate, I educate, I bend my will and replace old programming.  Other days are more like last night where I’m yelling at him because he’s kicking a ball in the kitchen or getting into his late night manic phase and I’m just tired of it.

I strive for change.  I fail constantly, but I’m still striving.  Maybe who I am will never really change this late in my life, but hopefully I can just smooth the edges out a little bit.  Live with a little more harmony and a little less anger.

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