Starting over, over?
by Ron P on Nov.03, 2009, under Uncategorized
I’m often amazed at how much of a work in progress I feel I am, even at 40 years old. I’ve struggled with food and my weight for 30 years now. Somehow I still continue to struggle with it today. We went out trick or treating with the kids the other night, had a good time, wound up going with some other families so we had a giant horde of kids with us. Lisa and I decided to just let Orion have his entire stash of candy. No limits or controls on it. He still has candy left 2 days later, and it just seems so alien to me, and after a couple of days I realized why. If it was me, I’d have eaten the entire bag as soon as I got home. I’ve almost always been like this with food and sweets and I still really don’t understand why.
I guess it’s ok to still be a work in progress as long as there’s at least some progress going on!
Gym time yesterday:
10 minutes elliptical bike
flat bench: 10×135, 8×185, 6×205, 4,225
incline bench: 8×115, 7×115, 7×115
decline bench: 8×135
Ended the workout there, right shoulder and forearm pain and weakness. Moderate pain for about an hour after the workout.
Father Musings… changing who I am.
by Ron P on Jun.01, 2009, under Uncategorized
How often do people actually change?
For me, I know I’ve changed a lot over the last decade or so, yet somehow I deal with the same issues I’ve dealt with since I was a kid. Lack of patience, I’m quick to anger, in general I prefer solitude to the company of others. When do these things change? Will they ever?
Those questions bother me a lot, because I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to yell at my son who is just being an energetic 4 year old. Sometimes I’m great at the path Lisa and I have chosen. I communicate, I educate, I bend my will and replace old programming. Other days are more like last night where I’m yelling at him because he’s kicking a ball in the kitchen or getting into his late night manic phase and I’m just tired of it.
I strive for change. I fail constantly, but I’m still striving. Maybe who I am will never really change this late in my life, but hopefully I can just smooth the edges out a little bit. Live with a little more harmony and a little less anger.
